September 24, 2020

By ANDREW SOULSBY

Internet dating is the worst.

I’ve come to this conclusion after using most, if not all, of the popular dating sites on the web. This includes, but is not limited to, websites such as eHarmony, Plenty of Fish and most recently okCupid.

While each of these websites offers a different approach to helping you find your soulmate, they typically offer the same awful experience.

First, because I am a male, I have automatically been placed into the “bro” category. This stereotype lumps me in with a group of guys who typically don’t wear shirts in pictures, drink copious amounts of beer and are only interested in scoring.

Naturally then, I have done the opposite. My pictures include all articles of clothing and my profile is written as if I were submitting it to my editor. The problem with this approach is I have now alienated myself from a large majority of the people who use Internet dating.

What I’m saying is, reading people’s profiles is a lot like reading a string of Youtube comments mashed together. People have completely removed proper grammar and spelling from the equation in presenting themselves as anything other than a preschooler.

Second, and perhaps most terrifying, is how evident our society’s obsession with sex is and how we respond to it. The vast majority of women between the ages of 19 and 30 on dating sites have at least one picture of their cleavage on their profiles.

This wouldn’t be an issue if these same women didn’t write next to nothing in their profiles and yet expect Mr. Right and not Mr. Right Now to send them intelligent messages. Worse still, is the moral stand some of these women take against guys who post pictures with their shirts off.

Even after finding someone who appears to be a good match, several months later she will reveal herself as being insane.

This is due to the inherent nature of the Internet. Without the face-to-face interaction we miss the social cues that would normally tell us the person isn’t our type.

While I realize good can be found on these websites, there’s really only so much dumpster diving a person can tolerate before giving up on the gem hidden beneath the trash.