August 10, 2020

 

By JAZLYN SLACK

What do you do when your best friend, the one person you long to talk to everyday, gives up on you and walks away?

The whole world seems to just come crashing down and there’s nothing you can do about it. So many people go through breakups and all of those people hide their emotions and try to battle it out themselves, but doing that doesn’t help.

It’s going to hurt. Especially when all you want to do is sit there and think about it. You start to bring yourself down saying you’re not good enough and nothing you do is right. You try to think of ways to change yourself to suit one person’s needs instead of going out into the world and being yourself like you’re supposed to.

We have all of these expectations about how one relationship is supposed to work. I, myself, could sit in my room and watch romance movies until I die, but doing this only builds up this fake reality and makes us believe in something that may not even exist.

In any romance movie, there is always a happy ending. The guy is always the perfect person and the girl is always happy.

What about those situations where the guy and the girl don’t see eye to eye on everything? What about those situations where the guy cheats and the girl keeps going back because she’s afraid to lose everything she spent the last year building or the situation where the girl hits a low and the guy can’t handle things anymore and says he “didn’t sign up for this.”

Romance movies build up women’s confidence, making us believe that everything will always work out; therefore when things don’t we are crushed and it seems like the world is over. We sit in our rooms and watch these movies and cry our eyes out and dream that someday, and someday soon, our lives will turn into a Noah and Allie (the Notebook) or Johnny and Baby (Dirty Dancing) or even Jack and Rose (the Titanic) fairy tale.

Even though these movies have bittersweet moments, they always end with unconditional, heart-wrenching love that every girl longs for.

Noah and Allie fought over and over again, they were separated by differences and everything that could go wrong, did, but in the end they found each other and were together for the rest of their lives. Johnny and Baby had to hide their relationship from Baby’s parents. They had their ups and downs but Baby’s father accepted the relationship by the time the movie ended, and Jack treated Rose like his prized possession, did everything and gave everything up for her – including his own life.

So when we see all of these heroes fighting for their love and dying for them, we expect every guy to act like that.

I’m not saying it’s wrong to believe in eternal love and soul mates, it’s just that every time a relationship goes downhill we beat ourselves up over it, we cry and we blame ourselves, when reality is, stuff happens. This guy might not be your Noah; that guy might not be your Jack. We all have relationships go wrong and others that go right. Some may be high school sweethearts, others may be college sweethearts and some may not even meet their Johnny until they’re out in the working world.

Don’t bottle everything up inside because in the end you’re only hurting yourself. Eat ice cream, watch sappy love movies and cry to your best friend – just don’t believe everything Hollywood makes love out to be because things will go wrong and you will get hurt but it’s nothing to dwell on and beat yourself up over. You’ll find your Jack/Johnny/Noah, just be patient and let life take you there.