By DREW LOGAN
From Blackberries to breastmilk latte’s. From ethnicity to marijuana.
There was no doubt that if you came to the comedy nooner, on Sept. 14, you would have been burned.
From Mark Breslin’s Yuk Yuk’s came the famous comedic acts of: Cedric Newman, Dimi Dimakos and Julia Hlaodkowicz: three diverse jokesters that came ready with their own styles of “new-age in your face” comedy.
The event was a success, but ended an hour early. Conestoga Students Inc. held the free event in the Sanctuary.
An introduction for each comedian was given by Dimakos. The first act, Hladkowicz, made fun of the firefighters of Conestoga, but also touched on her experience in minimum-wage jobs, and threatened to release her bowels on the stage.
Hladkowicz finished her act with a song insulting the infamous Katie Perry song, I Kissed a Girl. Her version was more detailed and the crowd was both stunned and amused.
Dimakos made a perfect entrance after her performance and tripped over the Sanctuary stage steps.
Both students and faculty howled with laughter, as did Dimakos.
She got up and began insulting the firefighters, who were closest to her, for not coming to.
After a few minutes of lecturing, she dished out jokes concerning relationships, celebrity pregnancies, and bathroom humour.
The laughs only got louder as Cedric Newman entered the stage.
Newman immediately started calling out the audience, which both engaged and insulted students.
The students loved it.
“You know texting and driving is illegal? That’s stressful. Because now you have to text, drive and look for cops,” joked Newman.
“Bank of Montreal is never open. I asked one day: what does BMO stand for? He said bank might be open.”
The audience welcomed Newman’s insults that he threw at students who were leaving his act.
Élina Joi, a student at Conestoga College, was poked at in friendly nature about her ethnic background, by Newman.
“It was very funny, but I wish it wasn’t me that got picked,” said Joi, who was a little embarrassed.
At the end of the event Newman met with Joi and reassured her that his jokes were in good nature.
Both students and faculty watched the comedy nooner for an hour, but the original scheduling for the event was 12 p.m. to 2 p.m.
After the show, Dimakos commented that “(we were) a polite, nice, audience.”
But that wasn’t all she had to say.
“It was cute how they raised their hands. I would also like to report a faulty step, and lousy firefighters who didn’t come to my aid!” she laughed.
CSI president Ciara Byrne said the event “was full the entire time and turned out great. The students were taken by the new-age humour.”